THE FINAL JOURNEY

I am 63 year old and as far as I know of sound mind and body. I can't predict the future and there is no telling when my journey on this earth will end  but I plan on staying for a while yet. It is totally uncharacteristic of me to blog about such a morbid topic. Inevitably however, the subject of buying a niche in the Nirvana Columbarium came up again with every Qing ming (all souls' day). How do I explain to  my 90 year old mother, without offending her, that I have never or will ever contemplate  buying a pigeon hole in the Columbarium as my final resting place.

I was born to a Taoist family but grew up and remain an atheist. I have never personally witness any life changing spiritual miracle that would alter my scientific world view. I do not mock people whatever their religious believes. All religions preach about peace, morality and doing good deeds. Whether in a temple, church or mosque I will show due respect and would without hesitation observe and imitate their rituals if required to do so.

To live in harmony, certain things in life could be compromised but when it comes to the final rites of passage  we should respect the individual's choice. The old Chinese culture and customs are obsessed with death. Emperors and Kings commissioned their own mausoleums at the peak of their reign. The rich and famous demanded a grand send-off by their decedents that commensurate with their status and as a public display of filial piety. Fortunately, these decadent practices are getting obsolete. Most of us are now a new generation with no religious baggage.

 So how do I plan to go? This is beginning to sound like a open Will address to my family.

First, do not bury me in a common cemetery. Land should be put to better use. Nothing is more pathetic and sadder than seeing those old neglected overgrown tombs in every cemetery that never had a visitor in years. However, should there be a free hold 10 acres family orchard in the middle of nowhere and that the estate can be passed down through the generations, it would be a romantic notion that a corner of land be used as a final resting place for the family members. I would not mind my ashes be buried under the shade of a Frangipani tree overlooking a small stream. This idea probably came from some old English novels I had read in my younger days.

Second, a niche in a Columbarium or temple is also a NO. I have only 1 daughter and she could be living in any part of the world in the future. I would not want to burden or bother her or having to come and pay her respect every year. It would be more meaningful if she remembers me and once a year  writes me a letter on my birthday updating me about her life. In doing so she can also reflect and review the year past and move forward.

When I died I do not want a funeral. No need for a fancy coffin. Just get me cremated on the same day if possible. There is also no need for a wake but I would not be able to stop family and friends from coming to say goodbye. Maybe a small advertisement in the newspaper to officially announce I am gone from this world. Finally, sprinkle my ashes in the open sea.


simon   29 March 2016

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A GIFT OR BRIBE

Image
With a school going child in the house, the issue of giving something to the teachers always bothers me. It will not cross my mind in a million years that such a need arise, but with the wife it is a different kettle of fish all together. The beginning of each school year starts with the giving of diary and calendar, follows by oranges and cakes for CNY , pens and flowers on Teacher’s Day, moon cake for the Mid Autumn Festival, etc. etc. And teacher is not confined to the Form Teacher but includes the tuition teacher, the piano teacher, the day care centre teacher, the transporter, etc. etc. The very act of giving to teachers - is it a gift or bribe? Webster online dictionary defines GIFT as something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation and BRIBE as something that serves to induce or influence. The definitions and distinction between the 2 acts is very clear. Bearing gifts to relatives, close friends, colleagues or neighbors on special occasions is a l
Read more

A SILENT PRAYER FOR DAD

My 80+ year old father fell down 3 times over the weekend. Although there was a minor swelling and bruise on the side of his head, he seemed to be ok. There was no sign of other visible injuries. He was at his normal self, enjoying his meals, watching television and taking naps in between. There seemed to be no reason to panic or a need for drastic actions that might cause him unnecessary duress. Nevertheless, there was this perpetual feeling of unease and nagging anxiety. Events suddenly took a drastic change on Monday evening. His body went cold and he became incoherent. An ambulance was called and he was immediately sent to the Emergency section of SJMC. A brain scan and x-ray was carried out. The neurologist said there was concussion, minor burst arteries and shrinkage of the brain, but the situation was not so serious that warranted a surgery. However, he has to be warded in the HDU for further observations. Most people are uncomfortable, but my dad has an aversion to staying in a
Read more

LETTER TO ML

Image
Dear ML As per your request I am writing you a letter. This will be my second letter to you. The first was written while you were still in the womb. It was hand written and I read it out loud to you. I don't know if you still remember but my recollection as to the content is fuzzy now. Early sign of Alzheimer or just old age syndrome?  It was a strange request asking me to write you a letter. For the past 18 years there was no plausible reason to write you because we have been staying under the same roof ever since you were born. Now that you are leaving for Australia soon, there may be a valid reason to send you an e-mail every now and then. Then again, we also have WhatsApp, Skype, Facebook, FaceTime, Messenger and many other communication tools. There are so many ways to keep in touch. Is there even a need to write a letter? You know, in our time it took a week for an Aerogram (an air-mail letter) to reach its destination. Even a Telegram (a written message sent th
Read more