ML TURNING 21

My only child will be turning 21 on 19th August 2017. Whew, what a relief. Parenthood is definitely not a walk in the park especially for the Pan-Asian Chinese family. The responsibilities, expectations, obligations, sacrifices and cultural traditions to uphold as parents in this 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week & 365 days a year job of raising a child is a huge load to shoulder. If you are lucky and there is no major misstep or screwing up along the way, the kid might turned out alright.  While still deliberating on the issue and fraught with apprehension, my daughter was unexpectedly conceived on that fateful day 21 years and 9 months ago and I was unwittingly shoved into the job! The rest as they said is history.

It has been a long journey with many ups and a few downs. Although our family tie, the father-daughter relation is for eternity, my role as a parental guardian is finally coming to an end. I no longer need to be present at the Immigration Department when she wants to renew her passport or to be at the police station to report on her lost Identity Card.  If she infringes the law I am no longer responsible or liable for her actions. Although the umbilical cord was cut 21 years ago, this final invisible tether that binds us will be officially detached come 19th August 2017. There will not be any more "babysitting" or "curfews". The next approaching milestone in her timeline is FREEDOM.

What's the big deal about being 21? Nothing much if you are residing in Australia or other developed countries. 18 is the legal age when you can walk into a pub to buy a beer, drive and vote. Hence,the 21st Birthday is nothing more significant than a lame excuse to throw a wild party.

In a Third World country like Malaysia coming of age at 21 signifies the transition into adulthood. A girl becomes a woman and the boy a man. You attain the eligibility to vote. The legal age to drink has also been raised to 21.

Teen age is still probably the most carefree and ultimately the best transition years of our lives. You can behave petulantly at the expense of your parents and rebel without a cause, conveniently blaming all excesses to raging hormones. You can be childish, rash and irresponsible, pushing the boundaries to test the breaking points of your parents. Parents will also start losing hair because they will be literally tearing their hair out. Fortunately, these years are now behind us.

So what is society's expectation of a 21-year-old? Juvenile behavior is no longer acceptable as you have transformed into an adult and with that a certain degree of maturity and responsibilities. It is like level- up in a computer game. Suddenly you are confronted with a new set of rules and obstacles to overcome in order to survive. Who said life is easy! Wish 21 does not come so fast?

Fortunately, you were born in an household with strong Asian family values. We would not cut you loose to fend for yourself until your wings are strong enough and are ready to fly the coop. Independence, maturity and responsibilities does not happen overnight but takes time to temper. Inevitably there will be road blocks and pitfalls along the way in the real world. What matters is that you get back up, learn from the mistakes and move on wiser and stronger. Material life is not the most important thing in the world, health and happiness are. These are words of wisdom from an old man who has been around for some time.

Happy 21st Birthday.

Simon   14 August 2017

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