THE FINAL JOURNEY

I am 63 year old and as far as I know of sound mind and body. I can't predict the future and there is no telling when my journey on this earth will end  but I plan on staying for a while yet. It is totally uncharacteristic of me to blog about such a morbid topic. Inevitably however, the subject of buying a niche in the Nirvana Columbarium came up again with every Qing ming (all souls' day). How do I explain to  my 90 year old mother, without offending her, that I have never or will ever contemplate  buying a pigeon hole in the Columbarium as my final resting place.

I was born to a Taoist family but grew up and remain an atheist. I have never personally witness any life changing spiritual miracle that would alter my scientific world view. I do not mock people whatever their religious believes. All religions preach about peace, morality and doing good deeds. Whether in a temple, church or mosque I will show due respect and would without hesitation observe and imitate their rituals if required to do so.

To live in harmony, certain things in life could be compromised but when it comes to the final rites of passage  we should respect the individual's choice. The old Chinese culture and customs are obsessed with death. Emperors and Kings commissioned their own mausoleums at the peak of their reign. The rich and famous demanded a grand send-off by their decedents that commensurate with their status and as a public display of filial piety. Fortunately, these decadent practices are getting obsolete. Most of us are now a new generation with no religious baggage.

 So how do I plan to go? This is beginning to sound like a open Will address to my family.

First, do not bury me in a common cemetery. Land should be put to better use. Nothing is more pathetic and sadder than seeing those old neglected overgrown tombs in every cemetery that never had a visitor in years. However, should there be a free hold 10 acres family orchard in the middle of nowhere and that the estate can be passed down through the generations, it would be a romantic notion that a corner of land be used as a final resting place for the family members. I would not mind my ashes be buried under the shade of a Frangipani tree overlooking a small stream. This idea probably came from some old English novels I had read in my younger days.

Second, a niche in a Columbarium or temple is also a NO. I have only 1 daughter and she could be living in any part of the world in the future. I would not want to burden or bother her or having to come and pay her respect every year. It would be more meaningful if she remembers me and once a year  writes me a letter on my birthday updating me about her life. In doing so she can also reflect and review the year past and move forward.

When I died I do not want a funeral. No need for a fancy coffin. Just get me cremated on the same day if possible. There is also no need for a wake but I would not be able to stop family and friends from coming to say goodbye. Maybe a small advertisement in the newspaper to officially announce I am gone from this world. Finally, sprinkle my ashes in the open sea.


simon   29 March 2016

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